losing life

I came across this poem while looking for a file on my computer tonight. It’s a few years old, but I thought it would share it with you all.

losing life
it drains from me in drops of time, passed on with spoken words
breaking bonds, letting go of what could have been forever
I am freewheeling in a world of over-analyzation, second guessing
Lord, show me the way
speaking in circles and becoming frustrated to find myself back where I began
the conversations repeated with déjà vu in rooms where I find my life
when did it all become so complicated?
on my knees is the only peace to be found
watching a scary movie in living room darkness as candles gutter and die
but the reality waiting just beyond the television is more frightening by far
I am unsure of which is worst, the unknown or the known
Lord, shine your light into my life
wishing I could return to the days of my childhood
safe in the arms of one who has always been there for me
without the distractions of all that has changed
home hits a longing buried deep
how did I loose track of the path You were lighting for me?
or is standing at the crossroads always this hard?
we speak in songs in the still of Sunday morning
if only our eyes were not blinded by mtv
our ears deafened with the sounds of busyness
our tongues dumbed with fear of rejection
Lord, be all that I need, now and forever
my purpose is yours, cleanse my heart and make me true

“Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” Matthew 10:39

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A Song of Ascents

Psalm 121

A song of ascents

If I raise my eyes to the hills,
from where does my help come?
My help comes from ADONAI,
the maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip –
your guardian is not asleep.
No, the guardian of Isra’el
never slumbers or sleeps.

ADONAI is your guardian; at your right hand
ADONAI provides you with shade –
the sun can’t strike you during the day
or even the moon at night.

ADONAI will guard you against all harm;
he will guard your life.
ADONAI will guard your coming and going
from now on and forever.

from The Complete Jewish Bible

I was going to write in a story first; before the typing in the Psalm. A little bit about my day that would put it into context, but it didn’t feel right when I read it. It’s not that today was a bad day. In fact, in many respects it was a good one, but life and finances have a way of being depressing some days. Today was one of them.

Then I read this Psalm and it reminded me that life is a journey that I haven’t reached the destination of yet. God will be there with me just as He has many times in the past. It’s easier to remember that when circumstances are crazy or a big decision is looming, but oftentimes the knowledge gets lost in the mundanities of day to day life.

Bright, shiny objects have a way of distracting me from my faith just as they do other things in my life, only they aren’t always bright and shiny. Sometimes they’re dark, depressing and draining. That’s when I have to listen and remember that, just as He reminded Elijah, God is not always in those things which grab our attention. Instead, He is often found in the quiet voice waiting for us to listen and recognize that we are not alone. He has not left us, but is there to guide us as He has been since the beginning.